A few weeks ago, my 6 y.o. asked me what he should name his “little girl”. Perplexed, I asked, “What little girl?” Then he said, “Mommy, the little girl I’m going to have.” He went onto explain that there was a little girl in his school that said they will marry, have 4 kids (2 boys, 2 girls), he will move out of his mommy’s house, they will have their own home but he can come back to visit on the weekends, however, not every weekend. Surprised and disheartened, I asked him who this little girl was. He refused to tell me for fear I will confront her mother and get her in trouble.
As cute as that may sound, I don’t believe in having my son plan his life out at the age of 6. I want him to be a kid for at least another decade. Planning so far in advance will only narrow his view of life. I want him to explore and experience the unexpected and leave a wide-open window for adventures. Being focus on marriage, kids and visits to his elderly mother on certain weekends kind of dim the light on living life to the fullest.
Some of the best things in life are unexpected… like him. We planned for two kids, not three. I cannot imagine my life without him. I declare my love for him every single day. I also tell him to keep an open mind for the future but he’s too young to understand that. I’m astonished he understands the whole marriage and kid thing. Every time I question his plans, he fires back with, “Don’t you want me to experience marriage like you did? I want to explore different houses too.” It kind of breaks my heart but if I am a responsible mother, then he will be able to fulfil his dreams with his own abilities.
Almost anything new is complicated. It’s the journey that makes memories, not necessarily the destination. If you are intent on a goal, may you achieve it. Just remember to allow other possibilities to bring you there. There are many great blessings in my life that came from the “left field”. Some felt like they literally popped out of thin air. Who knew I would enjoy being a dentist so much? As a kid, the dental office represented pain and torture. (And you thought I couldn’t understand your angst…Hmph!) Who knew it could also be therapeutic? That’s just insanity!
My son likes to tell me he will love me even when we’re “ghosts”. Those words warm my heart even though I’m afraid of talking about ghosts. I know one day he will make another woman happy and fill her life with unimaginable bliss. For now, I just want him to be mine and stay in love with me. He was Darth Vader as I was his Padme for Halloween. If he only knows how complicated relationships can be. He likes to emphasize that he still loves me even when he’s angry with me for yelling at him. Who could ask for more than that? Love endures after a bump is the ultimate love. It is also one of the best love that I have. I wish Father Time would hold onto his youth a little longer for me. I’m not ready for him to grow up. He’s my best surprise ever.
What happens in Vegas doesn’t necessarily stay in Vegas…as I went to Vegas and brought something back home. This past weekend, the AGD (Academy of General Dentistry) held their annual convention in Las Vegas, NV. The AGD is the largest organization for general dentists all over the country. With over 40,000 members and thousands more students in waiting, AGD honored hundreds of its members in the Fellowship, Mastership and Life Long Learners categories. This year, yours truly brought home the Mastership (MAGD), the highest honor bestowed to a general dentist in the AGD.
Initially, I was not overjoyed with the fact that I had to attend the traditional ceremony in order to receive my award. The idea of putting on a cap and gown for show was cheesy to me. But when I was reminded that families and offices made sacrifices too throughout my MAGD journey, I realized it was a big deal. The amount of hours put into my study, exams, presentations, services, and preparations for all that I do, receiving this recognition was an honor. Listening to my peers’ excitement had an osmotic effect on me. With almost 2000 hours dedicated to learning while trying to raise a family, manage an office and provide community services, I did need to take a moment to reflect and appreciate the accomplishments. I also need to thank all those who were involved in this extraordinary journey and took charge when I was gone. You guys are the bestEST.
I have awesome support systems, both at home and at the office. I remember all those weekends when my youngest held onto my legs so I can’t leave the house. Then when I came home, they all grew a little bit older and taller. How I never missed an important event is beyond me. The collaboration and communication I received are true blessings.
Even with all those years in post post graduate studies, I still feel that I need to learn and study more to be better. It’s an endless journey. Thank you to everyone who shared in this wonderful life experience with me. May you always strive for knowledge. Don’t forget to take a moment for yourself as well. Cheers!
Walking into the convocation with the dignitaries and honored guests. Yes, one of my professors at Creighton University was there as well. Creighton representing!
With my goofy colleagues taking selfies to commemorate our 15 minutes of being “special” amongst the sea of dentists. It was so much fun to hang out with these two.
With my support team. Love them so much and truly grateful to them for their undying support of all that I do. Their encouragement to keep going provides more steam than they will ever know.
This past weekend I took my daughter with me to a health fair. I volunteered to help out. There was a dental screening and the place was set up to be more of a community resource center than a health fair. There was another dentist present and the room was small so I decided to sit outside and explain to patients how to brush and floss instead. Because my daughter has never been to one, I decided to show her a part of my work outside the office. She could also serve as a translator for me for the Mandarin speaking population.
As we sat under the tent with the sun glaring on our right, she asked how does one really floss and brush properly. I handed her my flyer to read. She asked why I had to emphasize the obvious. I explained that not everyone has the advantage of having a dentist as a mother to show them how to floss and brush properly from the age of two. As she sat and listened to questions directed at me by different groups of people, she began to understand how even old adults don’t know dental basics, like brushing the tongue side of your teeth. Initially, she was shy about speaking Mandarin to an elderly couple. But when she saw their struggle with my explanation, she started to speak in a very soft and low volume. I think they were more surprise at her Mandarin than her actually trying to explain things to them. I don’t know what she said but I was proud that she tried to translate for them.
We sat for a couple of hours. She moved around and about to look at other booths. She loved the library booth as libraries are her favorite places. Not to mention, they were giving out mood pencils. The color on the pencil changes as you continue to hold it. She even asked for 2 extra ones for her brothers. She heard me explain the college process to a teenager whose mom has never gone to college. I also explained how different professions operate in healthcare. My daughter said, “I thought you were a dentist.” I am. But since I know what that process is like, why not share and try to get the teenager to think beyond her boundaries. Then she asked if I knew the teenager. I didn’t. I was just aiming to expand her vision for her future. As my daughter listened and observed throughout the day; she appreciated my work more. “You help a lot of people”. I didn’t think so. I can explain things in a way that makes it easier to understand, be it dentistry or college. Not to mention, I’m all for girls going to college and empowerment. When she helped me cleanup to go home, she said, “I like doing things with you.” That made my day.
This week she earned a prize for completing a song in music class. She picked out a Transformer toy she knew her younger brother would enjoy. She brought it to him and told him he needs to be nice in school and listens well in order to open it this weekend. She told me she did that to encourage him to think about his future. He has been behaving badly in class recently. She wanted to help him get back on his path for advancement. My heart melted. Mission: Accomplished (for now).
Recently, I received a hand written note from the “Tooth Fairy”. Apparently, she visited the little girl I took 2 teeth out of. During the appointment, my little patient was so nervous, I tried to be funny and only got a chuckle out of her. When it was all over, she asked if I was done because I told her I only needed a minute and the minute was over. Evidently, she counted to 60 in her head. That would explain why she didn’t laugh at my jokes. She wasn’t paying attention! So she came back with a present from the Tooth Fairy. It was a note with a green marble taped to it. On the other side of the note, there was a coupon for a 3 minute hug from the patient. It was so adorable. It made my day as I redeemed my coupon immediately.
Then just a few days ago, a letter came addressed to me. It was a sorry note from a patient who slammed the door on his way out. He wrote, “I’m sorry for slamming the door…It’s not who I am. I hope you could see who I really am…” in one of the hardest to read handwriting I’ve ever seen. It took a couple of minutes to read the few lines. The patient has moderate autism and was trying his best to show his remorse on a piece of paper. It warmed my heart. So when he came in for his appointment, I thanked him for his sweet words. He replied, “My dad made me write that letter. I didn’t want to write a letter but I am sorry for slamming the door. I was mad at myself. I just want to tell you I am sorry in person.” By the end of his appointment, he said,” Thank you for working on me. I want you to be my dentist.” That was even better than the letter.
Today, a patient called to say he was doing fine after he had undergone some cosmetic work yesterday. He couldn’t believe how nice I was after he yelled at my team just the week before. He was even more appreciative of the fact that I listened to his complaints about non-dentally related issues “without bias or judgment.” I explained that sometimes when a patient is antagonistic, it’s normally not because of us or what is being discussed. It’s usually independent of both. We try to give each person a benefit of a doubt. However, he was on his last “benefit” with us. He called me his “angel” as our conversation calmed him down. Admittedly, he was on the verge of “losing it” on a matter that was not dentally related. Just to have someone listen as he was talking was enough to sustain an impact. It made him listen to his own thoughts, which turned out to be not as bad as it seemed. I know… being called an angel could totally go to my head. But the irony of this is that he believes dentists are “sadistic”.
It’s funny how gratitude comes in many forms. Don’t overlook yours. Just being courteous to a contentious person can change a bad attitude on so many different levels. Imagine being nice and not reacting to every distasteful incident. You, too, could be someone’s angel for that one moment. (Did I not say this could go to my head?)
I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of my gender than I was this past Saturday. Millions of women joined forces to march and show solidarity for our rights and equality, both of which are under seized by the Trump administration. Whether you are a Hillary supporter or not, women’s rights is a humanity issue. It is not a political issue. You can tell me how much taxes I need to pay annually, where to send my children for public education, rules and regulations I need to follow for traffic, government support, etc. But you cannot tell me how to use my body, grab me by the “kitten” because you’re famous, or even straight up lie to me because you want to look good. To paraphrase a sign I saw…I can’t believe I have to protest this sh*t in 2017!
It is not about political parties. It is about women’s rights and fair treatment of everyone. Everyone.